desperate mother

While on the trip to NJ,there was an exit to NYC to Sloan kettering cancer center and you can tell the traffic gets dense there.
Of course, they were all not going to the cancer center. But the thought that came through my mind was so weird... the people who come to Sloan, come from far and wide in search of hope,most of whom have been told by their doctors that nothing can be done, things are investigation etc etc, and yet, they must have heard from youtube,google,forums about magical cures, stories of recovery and they go through all this .... in search of hope, happiness.
We were doing the same thing.
I have given bad news to so many of my patients... usually when my terminal patients ask me..
We are in the 21st century and you are telling us nothing can be done? surely there is some specialist, some medicine, surgery or something can get rid of this... usually it starts with rage, and anger,
some of my patients even accuse me of not giving them hope, but I am bound to tell them what I have read and what is evidence based.
And yet, I continue to search for the magic cure..... why ? That feeling of hope is so addictive, so empowering that it makes you do those things.
A few months ago, I was determined that I am going to stop researching on the internet about other things, ABA during work hours and floortime at home and family hours. OT per ABA team.
We will pursue Dan to a certain point and think of diet modification.
That was then,
then my desperate father in law who is so worried about his grandson, sent me a link on Son rise.
I saw the videos many times, showed to my DH and again my hopes rised.... off I went looking again at the internet.
When I am going to stop.
Currently I am researching Homeopathy, then there is Ayurveda, thoughtful house, Hanen, Sonrise, therapuetic listening.... the list goes on and on... when am I going to say .. that's it?

When I went to Dr.N office and noticed how badly kept it was, I realised that desperate moms like me dont care about the beauty of the office. They are so madly in love with the concept of recovery and hope.
If I were to keep my office like that,or not answer my pts questions, they would leave me, I would have no patients.