why this sadness

Ok, I am not feeling good, I am sad. something is not right. I am not sending good vibes.
why? It is not pms, well if it was pms, I would not even been typing now, I would have been crying in some corner wanting to die.
I also finished with my period already. So it is established that it is not hormones.

ok.
My husband? Things could not be better-total sweetheart, he has been by backbone, by everything, this past month, no arguments etc..
Kids? D ok, Sanjay is doing ok, now
but I am getting frustated at the projects which are never taking off and the flat and the big plateau that is happening which I am blaming on myself.
To top it all, we keep meeting with the therapist, and they just dont get the urgency that I am in .He is so young...uggh.. they can say this for only a couple of more months.
I need to get strict with them I think. afterall it is my child and it is his life.

House, I am cleaning ok, all laudry done, - ok then that is not it.
work- some changes taking place secondary to the poor economy that we are in, we are having to see more patients to generate revenue and that is going to take its toll on Sanjay, I am afraid of that.
Now , I get home at 6.00 pm and if I add, a couple of patients, I am going to get home even later, and a child who has had several hours of ABA already during the day, is really not in the mood to do floor time with mommy in the night.

In order for me to feel better about myself, I even called Dr.N's office and set up an appointment for Mar .. that is something I am excited about, I want to get Sanjay on the protocol for MB12. Let us see....

I also did other feel good things, I invited one family over with two kids for valentines day
and here is the menu
Mattar paneer
daal tarka
Chole
Naan
Biryani
plain rice
Raita
fruit salad
bhel puri and taco dip with Wine

I am hoping we all have fun and I am trying to get a group of kids come home regularly as playdates for my kids.They will feel a sense of community and have friends outside of school.